MY BLOG HAS MOVED!

Hey Friends, my blog has a new address!!!!

annikalider.blogspot.com

Since I am no longer in New Zealand, I am abandoning the address "myjourneythroughnewzealand.blogspot.com"

please check it out!







-Annika

September 7, 2008

So, it’s a Sunday. I just got back from swimming at Suck Creek, which runs at the bottom of the Signal Mountain (they like to think it is a mountain, but really just a large hill…) and feel like I have millions of microscopic creatures crawling on me. It is an awkward combination, you are sitting in the creek, (which pools to make a “swimin howl”), you half feel like paradise, till you look down and see beer cans, graffiti on the rocks and hear the road about thirty meters to your left. My other favorite swimin howl is out ther cawled Bow Crik, where the red-necks meet the nature. Cigarette in resting between gapped teeth, tattoos and piercing and Bud Light in a cozy, the locals venture to a beautiful river with huge rocks to jump off, rope swing and small cliffs. To avoid meeting the entire community, I learned that Fridays (my day off!) are the best for these types of adventures.

Although Chattanooga (pronounced Chaddanooga by the locals) isn’t super red-neck (or “country” as they call it), I have experienced little tastes. I live in a wealthy community on the “mountain”, so many of the stay at home moms work out and eat organically, if not people are generally fitting the southern stereotype, loving fired everything, bisects and gravy, and tons of sweet tea!

Chattanooga is actually similar to Tacoma, but instead of the rich living around 30^th, they live on Signal Mountain and have views of the Tennessee River and the entire city. There are sections of the city that are kinda ghetto, with lots of poverty and high population of black people (can’t think of the politically correct way to say that…). The city is trying to revive the older places and there is lots of new shops and restaurants coming up and rebuilding of the worn-down areas of the city. Also, there are lots of unique old houses (just like in Tacoma) full of character! The house I’m living in was built in 1920’s. The Funk family is slowly but surely restoring/remodeling it, and it looks incredible. Also, there is woods behind my house that venture down the mountain with hiking and mountain biking trails which awesome!

I am loving my job, but it is exhausting! I have to be super social and have been out with tons of freshmen. I am trying to help ease their transition, explaining how awkward freshmen year can be, how long it takes to make friends, how even if you are struggling, that it isn’t a reflection on their character, but is a part transitioning. Daniel and I (the guy intern) are trying to build community within the freshmen (which is harder in a school with 10, 000 and no orientation) so we had a four-square tournament for freshmen, “delicious circles” where they would eat a snack and answer the random question on the table (ex. What is your dorkiest collect? What is your biggest pet peeve?) then switch groups. It was tons of fun! I almost peeded my pants playing four-square... so that is a good sign. I am leading a bible study of freshmen girls. I honestly have such a heart for them, just cause of all of our stories… how hard my freshmen year was and how much I needed someone to help me sort through those first weeks, talk out decision and just to tell me that I would find my place in this new setting.

Also, I'm working on planning “Adventure of the Week” because there are so many people I have talked to who say they experience God the most outside and love love to do anything outdoorsy, but people often lack motivation to initiate and organize. Last Saturday we took a group white water rafting, which was awesome! Most adventures won’t be as intense, just a day hike or going to a swimming hole, or rock climbing or something… so that is fun!

Overall, work is awesome, but it is exhausting to always have to be “on” with people and it is hard to stop thinking about work, and peoples stories and relationships. Hard to leave work at work and not keep thinking about it when I get home or into the weekends. So I have to make sure I'm sleeping and exercising and taking time off so I stay sane!

I am learning lots and having lots of fun! There is so much outdoor stuff to do here and glorious weather!!! They say this summer has been relatively mild for TN and it feels amazing! It is bright and sunny almost every day and warm! I get to wear dresses and tank tops and shorts all the time and am loving it! Also, when it rains, it pours!!! And it is warm rain! I have never experienced warm rain, so the first time it rained I went running outside. Within two minutes I was absolutely drenched, jumping through puddles and could hardly see. The roads became lakes in a matter of hours. It was awesome!

I have not fallen for anyone yet, but the boys are pretty good looking down here. In my job, the rule about dating is I get one chance (meaning don’t just go on dates unless it is really worth it) which is a good policy cause dating students could get awkward. But I will say there are some fun guys, but most have never seen more than an inch of snow…that might be a problem.

Oh yeah, I went to BOOMSDAY. It was a fireworks show on the river in Knocksville, TN for Labor Day. It was quite the experience… There were over 300,000 people there, walking anywhere was like herding cattle. I had to find a big guy and followed closely behind him as he navigated the crowd. I also experienced some of the most red-neck people I’ve ever seen. It was awesome! I was fully amused as I people watched and overheard their conversations…“I reckon we goina hav mes a picnic. Gots me ther a funnel cake anna laywn cher. Me anda kids goona watch us a fiyerr show.” I love anything quintessential!

Another random story…I went to Nashville for a Thursday evening and saw Gavin Degraw in concert (which was amazing!), but we kept inching our way up the crowd and I got about ten feet from the stage, then he leaned out into the crowd. It was actually hilarious to see everyone reaching for him, then I realized that I could maybe touch him too so turned into a crazy super fan and started reaching, but am short, so couldn’t get it. I’ll have to jump! I thought, so I did, multiple times, until VICTORY! I touched his pinky! It was awesome and I still haven’t washed my hand…

Anyways, enough stories for now… I miss you all!

I have been thinking a lot about how to live with confidence, but not arrogance. I have come to realize that when we own our strengths with as much authority as our weakness, or conversely, own our weaknesses with as much authority as our strengths, we are transformed into humble, powerful children of God. Realizing our limitations continually reassure us we are not God, while recognizing our power and strength unveils our potential- potential to change the world. So go, hold your strengths as boldly as your weaknesses and live into your potential. Never doubt the beauty of your Creator and know that you were formed in His image.

Freedom of Speech.

“Freedom of Speech.” Familiar words, yet unfamiliar in practice. I am not discussing the ability to say whatever one wants, but the actual freedom that comes from speaking. Issues, struggles, heartache, we’ve all got them yet we walk on the tippy-toes of life, hoping our brokenness will sneak past people. We wear baggy shirts to hide our too-large tummies, drink coffee to mask our exhaustion, smile and flirt to hide broken hearts. Never feeling we are good enough, if only we could be smarter, wiser, have more self-control, smaller nose, fewer freckles, love better, be loved. We judge ourselves, holding the bar higher than we ever expect from others and then we feel guiltily for judging ourselves and guilty for having issues.

As I continually gain courage, I continue to share my issues. Speaking about them has brought an unbelievable freedom. By taking about my issues and naming them, I take away there power. They are no longer this ugly thing that I spend time an energy trying to ignore. Instead they becomes tangible, something I can own, instead of them owning me. We were created to be in community, to “confess our sins to one-another.” Healing and change can only begin after the wound or brokenness is identified.

There is an unexplainable power in verbalizing your human imperfections, struggles and sins. I have found such freedom each time I share. Freedom. Honest freedom from the crap that we attempt to ignore but instead consumes. Freedom from the fear that “if they only knew my crap, they wouldn’t stick around.” “I wouldn’t be loved, if they only knew...” Do you know what it feels like? I’m not suggesting we hang our dirty laundry for all to see, but to seek a safe place and unload. I have been amazed at how many people have the same struggles. And have find community, compassion, support and a lightness from sharing secrets. I can’t explain it, but I have found honest, soul liberating, freedom in speech.

I listened, but forgot to hear...

Forgive me God, for I have forgotten. I spent five months of slowed down life in New Zealand, creating space for You to speak and spoke You did. I heard the same message over and over, slow down. Annika, slow down. New Zealand taught me the peace and wisdom that can come from creating space. The Lord will crawl into the spaces, brining joy and life. When space was created, the Lord would affirm that I was enough. No accomplishments or schedule needed. I was to strip off expectations, all of them, those put on by society, those given by peer, family pressures, and worst of all our own expectations. I was to rest in idea that the Lord loves me where I am. I am loved and worthy of celebration. Re-reading my blog from NZ, over and over again I heard the Lord speaking, stripping life down to simplicity and rebuilding what was truly important. Looking at my life now one would think I had fully forgotten. Five months of teaching, listening and experiences, what has changed? Life is chaotic, overly committed, overly excited, overly ambitious, and I will soon become overly exhausted. I leave no spaces. I neither read or pray or rest enough, expecting the Lord will give me grace because of my busy schedule. Grace, I need to give myself grace. Grace to know that I won’t live up to expectations, not my own, not my professors, not my peers, nor societies, so I can stop trying. Grace to remember what I spent five months learning and grace while I attempt to apply all I learned.

I-5 accident-turned dance party and post-finals chaos, but smiling, alway smiling

Saturday night 1:45 in the morning, I was driving back from grabbing a drink with a friends in Portland. He headed north and I headed south down I-5. I was about a mile from my exit was stuck in accident traffic. All three lanes were blocked. I was about the twentieth car on the scene and sat there watching a dozen police cars, fire engines and ambiances wiz past. After about thirty minutes people began to climb out of their cars and check out the action, relaying the stories they heard through the line of traffic in a classic game of telephone. The further down the line of traffic, the wilder the stories became. I’m sure the cars about a mile back heard that a helicopter crashed into a spaceship which was trying to land on 1-5, the explosion overturned seventeen cars, one carrying the mayor of Oregon, while another carrying a lady in labor who was forced to deliver the baby among the wreckage...

The crazy stories were only the beginning of the party that soon broke out along the highway. It was young crowd, everyone back from school and were out with old friends in Portland. Cars synchronized radio stations, cranked up the volume and dance parties began. Beer bottles began to appear, while other where throwing up from too much earlier that night. Others were looking desperately to buy some smokes off anyone who was willing. Girls were prancing around in mini skirts and heals, stopping by the crowds to shake it. Cars had to pull perpendicular to traffic, making room for police to reach the scene. Tension finally exploded between a stubborn driver refusing to move their car and those attempting to direct traffic, racist comments went flying as well as fists. With all the car shuffling, I found out my car died, I had to get a jump in the middle lane of the freeway from my friendly neighbors. I met dozens of people, all in their twenties. Everyone was either beside themselves upset at the delay, or embarrassing the humor of the situation, joining the social scene and super friendly. I even developed a slight crush on one of them, how is that for an ironic meeting? All of my new friends, random strangers and I had a white-elephant gift exchange, all pulling random items from our cars. I walked away with gum, DD batteries and used chapstik. We contemplated caroling from car-door to car-door. It was unbelievable! It was such a bizarre but hilarious experience. Over two hours later traffic finally began to clear, my new friends and I exchanged numbers, hugged goodbye and continued down the freeway, back to life.

Well, my freeway adventure only added to my collection of happenings, randomness, travel and adventure thus far. Break has been slightly chaotic (to follow the chaos of finals week…) Since Friday I have been in four states, eight cities, used four types of transportation, moved my luggage over ten times, been to two church services, three pre-Christmas parties, three Christmas eve/day parties with my 22 family members, baked three traditional Swedish meals. Had a workout date, beer date, errand running date and walking date. Spent two hours in a traffic accident turned dance party on 1-5. I have played in soccer game, danced to keep warm on DU campus at two in the morning, read 100 pages of John Stienbeck’s East of Eden, eaten too much delicious food and slept way too little. Life is chaotic but good. It is a chaos that is oh too familiar... I finally arrived at our cabin in the Colorado Mountains. As soon as we entered the house my body relaxed.. I am now sitting by a fire, listening to music and breathing. Snow is falling, life is slowing, slopes are waiting and I am smiling.

a simple request

Play with me, please. Put down your books, turn off the tv, log off Facebook, stop wandering, stop procrastinating, stop making excuses and play. Let your mind rest and give your body a chance to work. Snow covered mountains crave fresh tracks, caves are waiting to be explored, peaks to be climbed with views that will make problems shrink and wonder grow. Let out your adventure, laugh, fall, twirl, run, climb, ride, free your soul. We have mountains and rivers within an hour’s reach, waterfront only blocks away, dozens of friend’s next-door and healthy bodies that are able to thrive. Allow yourself to be refreshed and remotivated. School-work will get done, it always does. Stop getting sucked into stress, pause life for a few hours, and lets go play.