MY BLOG HAS MOVED!

Hey Friends, my blog has a new address!!!!

annikalider.blogspot.com

Since I am no longer in New Zealand, I am abandoning the address "myjourneythroughnewzealand.blogspot.com"

please check it out!







-Annika

September 7, 2008

So, it’s a Sunday. I just got back from swimming at Suck Creek, which runs at the bottom of the Signal Mountain (they like to think it is a mountain, but really just a large hill…) and feel like I have millions of microscopic creatures crawling on me. It is an awkward combination, you are sitting in the creek, (which pools to make a “swimin howl”), you half feel like paradise, till you look down and see beer cans, graffiti on the rocks and hear the road about thirty meters to your left. My other favorite swimin howl is out ther cawled Bow Crik, where the red-necks meet the nature. Cigarette in resting between gapped teeth, tattoos and piercing and Bud Light in a cozy, the locals venture to a beautiful river with huge rocks to jump off, rope swing and small cliffs. To avoid meeting the entire community, I learned that Fridays (my day off!) are the best for these types of adventures.

Although Chattanooga (pronounced Chaddanooga by the locals) isn’t super red-neck (or “country” as they call it), I have experienced little tastes. I live in a wealthy community on the “mountain”, so many of the stay at home moms work out and eat organically, if not people are generally fitting the southern stereotype, loving fired everything, bisects and gravy, and tons of sweet tea!

Chattanooga is actually similar to Tacoma, but instead of the rich living around 30^th, they live on Signal Mountain and have views of the Tennessee River and the entire city. There are sections of the city that are kinda ghetto, with lots of poverty and high population of black people (can’t think of the politically correct way to say that…). The city is trying to revive the older places and there is lots of new shops and restaurants coming up and rebuilding of the worn-down areas of the city. Also, there are lots of unique old houses (just like in Tacoma) full of character! The house I’m living in was built in 1920’s. The Funk family is slowly but surely restoring/remodeling it, and it looks incredible. Also, there is woods behind my house that venture down the mountain with hiking and mountain biking trails which awesome!

I am loving my job, but it is exhausting! I have to be super social and have been out with tons of freshmen. I am trying to help ease their transition, explaining how awkward freshmen year can be, how long it takes to make friends, how even if you are struggling, that it isn’t a reflection on their character, but is a part transitioning. Daniel and I (the guy intern) are trying to build community within the freshmen (which is harder in a school with 10, 000 and no orientation) so we had a four-square tournament for freshmen, “delicious circles” where they would eat a snack and answer the random question on the table (ex. What is your dorkiest collect? What is your biggest pet peeve?) then switch groups. It was tons of fun! I almost peeded my pants playing four-square... so that is a good sign. I am leading a bible study of freshmen girls. I honestly have such a heart for them, just cause of all of our stories… how hard my freshmen year was and how much I needed someone to help me sort through those first weeks, talk out decision and just to tell me that I would find my place in this new setting.

Also, I'm working on planning “Adventure of the Week” because there are so many people I have talked to who say they experience God the most outside and love love to do anything outdoorsy, but people often lack motivation to initiate and organize. Last Saturday we took a group white water rafting, which was awesome! Most adventures won’t be as intense, just a day hike or going to a swimming hole, or rock climbing or something… so that is fun!

Overall, work is awesome, but it is exhausting to always have to be “on” with people and it is hard to stop thinking about work, and peoples stories and relationships. Hard to leave work at work and not keep thinking about it when I get home or into the weekends. So I have to make sure I'm sleeping and exercising and taking time off so I stay sane!

I am learning lots and having lots of fun! There is so much outdoor stuff to do here and glorious weather!!! They say this summer has been relatively mild for TN and it feels amazing! It is bright and sunny almost every day and warm! I get to wear dresses and tank tops and shorts all the time and am loving it! Also, when it rains, it pours!!! And it is warm rain! I have never experienced warm rain, so the first time it rained I went running outside. Within two minutes I was absolutely drenched, jumping through puddles and could hardly see. The roads became lakes in a matter of hours. It was awesome!

I have not fallen for anyone yet, but the boys are pretty good looking down here. In my job, the rule about dating is I get one chance (meaning don’t just go on dates unless it is really worth it) which is a good policy cause dating students could get awkward. But I will say there are some fun guys, but most have never seen more than an inch of snow…that might be a problem.

Oh yeah, I went to BOOMSDAY. It was a fireworks show on the river in Knocksville, TN for Labor Day. It was quite the experience… There were over 300,000 people there, walking anywhere was like herding cattle. I had to find a big guy and followed closely behind him as he navigated the crowd. I also experienced some of the most red-neck people I’ve ever seen. It was awesome! I was fully amused as I people watched and overheard their conversations…“I reckon we goina hav mes a picnic. Gots me ther a funnel cake anna laywn cher. Me anda kids goona watch us a fiyerr show.” I love anything quintessential!

Another random story…I went to Nashville for a Thursday evening and saw Gavin Degraw in concert (which was amazing!), but we kept inching our way up the crowd and I got about ten feet from the stage, then he leaned out into the crowd. It was actually hilarious to see everyone reaching for him, then I realized that I could maybe touch him too so turned into a crazy super fan and started reaching, but am short, so couldn’t get it. I’ll have to jump! I thought, so I did, multiple times, until VICTORY! I touched his pinky! It was awesome and I still haven’t washed my hand…

Anyways, enough stories for now… I miss you all!

I have been thinking a lot about how to live with confidence, but not arrogance. I have come to realize that when we own our strengths with as much authority as our weakness, or conversely, own our weaknesses with as much authority as our strengths, we are transformed into humble, powerful children of God. Realizing our limitations continually reassure us we are not God, while recognizing our power and strength unveils our potential- potential to change the world. So go, hold your strengths as boldly as your weaknesses and live into your potential. Never doubt the beauty of your Creator and know that you were formed in His image.

Freedom of Speech.

“Freedom of Speech.” Familiar words, yet unfamiliar in practice. I am not discussing the ability to say whatever one wants, but the actual freedom that comes from speaking. Issues, struggles, heartache, we’ve all got them yet we walk on the tippy-toes of life, hoping our brokenness will sneak past people. We wear baggy shirts to hide our too-large tummies, drink coffee to mask our exhaustion, smile and flirt to hide broken hearts. Never feeling we are good enough, if only we could be smarter, wiser, have more self-control, smaller nose, fewer freckles, love better, be loved. We judge ourselves, holding the bar higher than we ever expect from others and then we feel guiltily for judging ourselves and guilty for having issues.

As I continually gain courage, I continue to share my issues. Speaking about them has brought an unbelievable freedom. By taking about my issues and naming them, I take away there power. They are no longer this ugly thing that I spend time an energy trying to ignore. Instead they becomes tangible, something I can own, instead of them owning me. We were created to be in community, to “confess our sins to one-another.” Healing and change can only begin after the wound or brokenness is identified.

There is an unexplainable power in verbalizing your human imperfections, struggles and sins. I have found such freedom each time I share. Freedom. Honest freedom from the crap that we attempt to ignore but instead consumes. Freedom from the fear that “if they only knew my crap, they wouldn’t stick around.” “I wouldn’t be loved, if they only knew...” Do you know what it feels like? I’m not suggesting we hang our dirty laundry for all to see, but to seek a safe place and unload. I have been amazed at how many people have the same struggles. And have find community, compassion, support and a lightness from sharing secrets. I can’t explain it, but I have found honest, soul liberating, freedom in speech.

I listened, but forgot to hear...

Forgive me God, for I have forgotten. I spent five months of slowed down life in New Zealand, creating space for You to speak and spoke You did. I heard the same message over and over, slow down. Annika, slow down. New Zealand taught me the peace and wisdom that can come from creating space. The Lord will crawl into the spaces, brining joy and life. When space was created, the Lord would affirm that I was enough. No accomplishments or schedule needed. I was to strip off expectations, all of them, those put on by society, those given by peer, family pressures, and worst of all our own expectations. I was to rest in idea that the Lord loves me where I am. I am loved and worthy of celebration. Re-reading my blog from NZ, over and over again I heard the Lord speaking, stripping life down to simplicity and rebuilding what was truly important. Looking at my life now one would think I had fully forgotten. Five months of teaching, listening and experiences, what has changed? Life is chaotic, overly committed, overly excited, overly ambitious, and I will soon become overly exhausted. I leave no spaces. I neither read or pray or rest enough, expecting the Lord will give me grace because of my busy schedule. Grace, I need to give myself grace. Grace to know that I won’t live up to expectations, not my own, not my professors, not my peers, nor societies, so I can stop trying. Grace to remember what I spent five months learning and grace while I attempt to apply all I learned.

I-5 accident-turned dance party and post-finals chaos, but smiling, alway smiling

Saturday night 1:45 in the morning, I was driving back from grabbing a drink with a friends in Portland. He headed north and I headed south down I-5. I was about a mile from my exit was stuck in accident traffic. All three lanes were blocked. I was about the twentieth car on the scene and sat there watching a dozen police cars, fire engines and ambiances wiz past. After about thirty minutes people began to climb out of their cars and check out the action, relaying the stories they heard through the line of traffic in a classic game of telephone. The further down the line of traffic, the wilder the stories became. I’m sure the cars about a mile back heard that a helicopter crashed into a spaceship which was trying to land on 1-5, the explosion overturned seventeen cars, one carrying the mayor of Oregon, while another carrying a lady in labor who was forced to deliver the baby among the wreckage...

The crazy stories were only the beginning of the party that soon broke out along the highway. It was young crowd, everyone back from school and were out with old friends in Portland. Cars synchronized radio stations, cranked up the volume and dance parties began. Beer bottles began to appear, while other where throwing up from too much earlier that night. Others were looking desperately to buy some smokes off anyone who was willing. Girls were prancing around in mini skirts and heals, stopping by the crowds to shake it. Cars had to pull perpendicular to traffic, making room for police to reach the scene. Tension finally exploded between a stubborn driver refusing to move their car and those attempting to direct traffic, racist comments went flying as well as fists. With all the car shuffling, I found out my car died, I had to get a jump in the middle lane of the freeway from my friendly neighbors. I met dozens of people, all in their twenties. Everyone was either beside themselves upset at the delay, or embarrassing the humor of the situation, joining the social scene and super friendly. I even developed a slight crush on one of them, how is that for an ironic meeting? All of my new friends, random strangers and I had a white-elephant gift exchange, all pulling random items from our cars. I walked away with gum, DD batteries and used chapstik. We contemplated caroling from car-door to car-door. It was unbelievable! It was such a bizarre but hilarious experience. Over two hours later traffic finally began to clear, my new friends and I exchanged numbers, hugged goodbye and continued down the freeway, back to life.

Well, my freeway adventure only added to my collection of happenings, randomness, travel and adventure thus far. Break has been slightly chaotic (to follow the chaos of finals week…) Since Friday I have been in four states, eight cities, used four types of transportation, moved my luggage over ten times, been to two church services, three pre-Christmas parties, three Christmas eve/day parties with my 22 family members, baked three traditional Swedish meals. Had a workout date, beer date, errand running date and walking date. Spent two hours in a traffic accident turned dance party on 1-5. I have played in soccer game, danced to keep warm on DU campus at two in the morning, read 100 pages of John Stienbeck’s East of Eden, eaten too much delicious food and slept way too little. Life is chaotic but good. It is a chaos that is oh too familiar... I finally arrived at our cabin in the Colorado Mountains. As soon as we entered the house my body relaxed.. I am now sitting by a fire, listening to music and breathing. Snow is falling, life is slowing, slopes are waiting and I am smiling.

a simple request

Play with me, please. Put down your books, turn off the tv, log off Facebook, stop wandering, stop procrastinating, stop making excuses and play. Let your mind rest and give your body a chance to work. Snow covered mountains crave fresh tracks, caves are waiting to be explored, peaks to be climbed with views that will make problems shrink and wonder grow. Let out your adventure, laugh, fall, twirl, run, climb, ride, free your soul. We have mountains and rivers within an hour’s reach, waterfront only blocks away, dozens of friend’s next-door and healthy bodies that are able to thrive. Allow yourself to be refreshed and remotivated. School-work will get done, it always does. Stop getting sucked into stress, pause life for a few hours, and lets go play.

craving more.

I am caught it the middle of depth and fluff (yes, fluff). My heart is living two distinctive places. The first is a yearning desire for depth, depth of thought, depth of passion. I want to be transformed by Christ; I want to be overwhelmed with Him. I want to find a place were my passions can be used, where I can be challenged and stretched. I desire a place where I can think big but also act. I desire people to travel to those depths with me, not just to talk but also to make change. I feel stir crazy and frustrated with such an intangible and impossible to explain feeling. I often feel like I’m going to explode with passion, joy, frustration, excitement, love, life, but never know how to let it out, so often implode. Or go back to where I spend the other half of life, in the fluff.

Living in the fluff of life. In the puddle-jumping, twirling, costume wearing parts of life. I love my friends. I love hanging out, eating soupy brownies, laughing, wasting time, making memories, dressing up as burritos, eating terrible home-cooked meals, losing our voices screaming to scary movies, dance parties and just living life. I love spending time on the surface of life. Tasting the sweetness of the familiar and enjoying friendships four years in the making. I love exploring and resting in place that feels more and more like home. I love late nights and long runs, where I can make of a healthy body that will function on no sleep. Savoring the last drops of freedom before real life.

So, where does life leave me at the end of the day? Stir crazy, but never wanting a day to end. I feel frustrated and unsatisfied, yet joyful and content. Most of all, it leaves me craving more... more depth, more fluff, more laughter, more Christ, more challenge, more fun, more life.

scratching an itch

I spend most days looking at molecular structures, internal body systems and the brain. I can certainly say we are quite spectacular beings. Yet my long science filled days often leave me with a creative itch while life is constantly leaving me with perplexing thoughts and challenges. So I'm back in the blogging world, scratching an itch and sharing life with everyone or no one.

one last hoorah...and back home

I’ve spent the last ten nights sleeping in my down jacket, long underwear, fleece pants and wool hat. Winter is in full force in New Zealand. It is freezing! My last final exam finished up on June 30^th, then a few friends and I decided to take on the cold and spend my last ten days claiming my final memories. We named ourselves “Team Encore” and began our adventure with a three day backpack through Arthurs Pass, a set of mountains about two hours west. From the second through the fourth, we climbed through two spectacular saddles, surrounded by snowcapped peaks, trudged through forests and waded icy streams. On the morning of the fourth there was no barbecue, beer and watermelon, instead we awoke in a slightly frigid hut in the middle of the mountains. I sang “happy birthday” to America before eating our oatmeal and hitting the trail. In an attempt of patriotism, we tried to sing American songs as we headed down the trail, but realized we some issues…you know when you’re little, and you don’t know the words to a song, so you fill it in with words that most likely make no sense but fit the tune, and then sometime when your older and someone points out the real words-its quite embarrassing? Well, this was the problem we all faced. “O, Beautiful, for gracious sight in amber waves of grace…” I began to sing, and realized that no matter how hard I tried, my first-grade, half-humm, half-sing-a-long version of the songs were all I had put to memory. Needless to say, our patriotic trail sining was short lived. Thickly buried between layers was our patriotic colors where a little red lied in a t-shit, blue strip on underwear and white logo on our jacket, an attempt almost as pathetic as the singing.

By dinner we gave up hope, eating Indian food, followed by a Jazz Bar (with live music) and a beer after a long glorious day in the mountains. It was no traditional forth, but diffinentally unforgettable.

Our Encore trip headed south, where we climbed Mt. Fox through rain forest, using roots and rotted trees to pull and hoist ourselves straight up the mountain (switchbacks are in no way a part of New Zealand trail blazing). We ended up on top Mt. Fox, overlooking Fox glacier, Mt. Cook, the Tasman Sea and surrounding area, one of the most spectacular lunch spots in my lifetime.

The view from lunch a few days later closely rivaled that on top Mt. Fox. Skiing in Wanaka at a resort called Treble Cone, we experience an epic day in my ski history. All above tree line, the mountain had previously received over a foot of fresh, light powder. Although most was chopped up, we were able to hike up and get some fresh tracks and spectacular views. From the top, the dozens of peak of mt. Aspiring national park stood glowing under the blue-bird sky, while Lake Wanaka and surrounding mountains lay on the other. It was unbelievable.

Since it was New Zealand’s “winter holiday” we were unable to find a place to stay in the ski town, Wanaka, so decided (at seven-thirty) to make the five and a half hour trip back to Christchurch. Although we had called Christchurch our home for the past five months, we all had to have checked out of our rooms before our trip, so were homeless. We ended up sleeping in the living room and on the floors in my old flat, seeing how new students had already moved and were fully living in each of our rooms! It was weird to be in my flat, yet have it no longer feel like home. I was diffinentally getting the hint, my time in New Zealand was ending. The next day, doing last minute souvenir shopping, the hints only became louder as the new students left for the orientation program, the cloudless days turned to drizzle and there was no one left in Christchurch that I could ask to take me to the airport. It was time.

I’m home now, sweating, it was ninety-five when I was picked up from the airport last night! None of my flights were on time, causing panic sprints between terminals, in order to keep my nalgine water bottle I was forced to chug half-a liter of water outside security before barely making it to final boarding call. It was a hilarious panic-chugging image. Anyways, I was greeting my entire family with hugs and a handmade sign. Home to a delicious barbecue and fresh Oregon berry pie that was enjoyed on the deck as I watched the long summer day finally end, exposing the northern constellations. No more southern cross, but I’ve got the big dipper back! It feels good to be home and knowing that New Zealand is a place that pictures can never do justice, only means I'll have to go back someday!

will you hold your finger here so i can tie a nice neat bow?

Almost five months have unraveled, leaving only ten paper chain links until home. The month of June has been filled with “lasts” and “goodbyes” to both relationships and adventures. Since the 18^th of June, friends have gradually been packing their overly warn t-shirts, kiwi branded souvenirs and broken-in boots, while trying to unpack their last five months spent in NZ. As I am not leaving for ten more days, I have been walking with dozens of friends through the leaving process and have been reflecting on patterns I’ve seen within each goodbye. We all want goodbyes to be extravagant, the final peak to an ever-building adventure. We want one final night, one final adventure, one final word that will tie a shiny satin ribbon around an experience we have been building over the past months. But goodbyes are not neat and tidy. Instead they are haggard and discombobulated. Filled with emotions, flowing in unrhythmic and unstoppable waves; nervous, excited, scared, anxious, tears, laughter, deep sorrow, heart-felt appreciation, riveting joy, cutting regret, invited anticipation. Each person embodies a different feeling at different time, leading to mismatched hugs of clashing sentiment. Endings are often just as awkward as beginnings, the initial introductions- thick emotions that won’t fit in the space between an initial handshake. Yet it isn’t the goodbye that matters, the ribbon will be untied and it is the present we get to keep, the laughter, the memories, the adventure. Those things that can’t be polished and won’t be tainted through “an amazing last night” or the “perfect goodbye.” So I’ll continue to walk through the next ten days trying to stop my ribbon-tying tendencies, knowing that I have had an indescribable experience that can’t be touched. Knowing that with the end of one adventure, a new one begins. Maybe it won’t have the glorious title, but sometimes the joys hidden in the pockets of ordinary days are the sweetest.

summer sledding

So, winter has come. Nights drop below freezing as flakes dust the surrounding peaks (literally dust, with enough snow to make anxious ski-legs ache, but not enough to save skies from deeply etched battle wounds given by rocks without mercy). Regardless of the inches, we were determined to find and fully enjoy a New Zealand winter in June… Off to Mt. John we traveled, to the beautiful Lake Tekipo, where there were no sleds, skies or other snow toys to rent. We had touched the snow and were not giving up, so we improvised, each with a mission to find a “sled.” Both the sheet of metal and the plastic sign worked like a dream, sending us ripping down the most beautiful sled hill in the world. There is something about playing in the snow that makes me feel like I'm cheating…its cold yet I'm out loving life, and in late June the same winter thrill exists! It was wonderful.

My sledding adventure was followed up by a ski trip! I drove up to Mt. Hutt, which basically driving ¾ up a mountain, where a ski field exists above the tree line, fully exposed to all the wind and all the weather New Zealand can deliver. Apparently, it hadn’t delivered much snow lately, but the views from the top of the peak far outweighed the freshest and deepest of powder (maybe?). From the peaks tip I could see all the southern alps on one side and the Canterbury plans (extremely flat farmland), the ocean and up and down a few hours drive along the island. It was unbelievable. Seeing the ocean from the ski hill is something I never knew was possible. New Zealand never ceases to amaze me.

six butts, one seat...

so, I have been living in New Zealand, Flat 16, for almost five months and decided i should introduce you the other five students who i share a flat, kitchen, tv, toilet and many cultural flat dinners... I decided to let them introduce themselves...

Hello America,

I am Nikolas from the beautiful Black Forest in Germany. You might not know where that is, because our VIPs are not Ali G., who is often compared with me, or Austin “Danger” Powers, whose Mojo I poses, but even more sophisticated personalities like the nameless inventor of the Black Forest Cake. So I hope you understand that coming to New Zealand was a cultural shock for me. Nevertheless I started to enjoy the company of sweet little sheep and wooly Annika. I will miss them.

Come to Germany, it’s “nice” - noooot!

Hello world,

I am Pubudu, a flat mate of Annika’s. I am originally from Sri Lanka though I have lived in Europe before coming to New Zealand. I have been in NZ for about 9 years and I’m the most “kiwi” flatter here. I study physics because I’m pretty much too lazy to do anything else. When I’m not dealing with symmetries and unitary matrices I play this crazy game called cricket, which I’m not going to even attempt to explain. Wikipedia knows all. Not much else to say or do, until 2009, when a friend and I will be driving from somewhere in Thailand to Calais, hope to see you all along the way.

This is Jake from Texas. I normally go to a military college in Virginia so coming to New Zealand for the semester was a nice breather. After these last few exams I will be Junior. I was the young one in the flat at 19. I love the relaxed atmosphere here in NZ. Its common for kiwis to go to the store or other public places barefoot. Kiwis are still in love with the mullet. The outdoor activities here are amazing. I’ve experienced some sailing, diving, rock climbing, whitewater rafting, caving, absailing and enjoyed every thrilling moment.

Hi everyone, my name is Neil. I come from a country which can be reached by just dig a deep hole through the core of the Earth from USA. I have been living in New Zealand for five years and this is the last year for my degree. Everyone who comes here would love the great scenery of “Middle-Earth” and the relax life styles. Lastly, Welcome you all to the 2008 Olympic Games.

(more from Nikolas about Colleen…)

Colleen, our beloved flat mother.

When I first arrived in the flat it was dark and grey, but then I met Neil. And it was still dark and grey. But after changing my traveling clothes (30h flight) and taking a shower, Annika and Colleen surprised me in the hallway and my life started to make sense again. Because this article is not about Annika, I stop writing about her. Colleen, born in the middle of nowhere in the beautiful state of Washington is a feminist science student, enjoying her time in New Zealand. I gonna miss her because she established a working community, supporting it with her fabulous cookies, brownies and cakes. I will also miss her Peanut

Cookies.

To all my flatmate, it has been an amazing semester and always a comforting place to come home to. I will miss you all!

LIVE: "His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama"

"Dalai Lama is a Mongolian title meaning 'ocean of wisdom'. Tibetans believe that the Dalai Lama is an enlightened being, who has chosen rebirth as a way to be of benefit to all living beings."

The Dalai Lama was dressed in traditional wear, and began his speech by making a joke about how he was hoping the rain would cancel the speech, so he could have a holiday, using his friendly, light-hearted personality to capture the audience. Hundreds of people stood, umbrellas overhead, took in the words of “His Holiness the 14^th Dalai Lama.” His main focus of the first speech was about peace. (note: the recap is my interpretation of what he said, from memory and a few soggy notes)

He discussed how the idea of war was outdated. How our world was too connected, each person being someone’s neighbor, people all over the world are the same and war was no longer necessary or productive means to end a conflict. Instead he emphasized the importance of dialogue, forgiveness and compassion. That these skills and values should be taught by families in the home and also within the schools setting. People need to learn to use dialogue to appropriately express feelings and come to resolutions. He also discussed the idea of taking a step back from situations in order to give it perspective, when focused in to close, anything will look big, but with a step back, the problem will shrink. To do this will require us to open our minds, to see problems from other perspectives and approach them with compassion.

He talked about how in we need to weary of negative emotions. When our negative emotions combine with human intelligence and new technology, our emotions can be amplified and causes can be extremely deadly.

I loved the way that the Dalai Lama approached other people. He has obvious very strong faith beliefs and value system, but never did he seem use his faith as the introduction to conversation with people. Instead he would talk to people about human emotion, the mind and other universal concepts. Engaging in dialogue with various people about universal concepts brought genuine interest by both parties and allowed each person to learn from the other and provided a foundation for further depth of conversation.

(a caption from a press release on the event) ‘Caring for others and demonstrating compassion ar the best means of achieving happiness for oneself’, he said, continuing that this was a belief Buddhism shared with Christianity, all other theistic traditions, and even atheism.

Most of what the Dalai Lama discussed was a reminder of what we have all learned over the years. The most impact part for me was to be standing among the thousands of people who were seeking change. The Dalai Lama said the usual “each individual can make a difference” and those common words had a new meaning when I looked around and saw thousands of people who were seeking to make a difference as well. It showed how much can change when people come together, that it isn’t just my individual contribution, but thousands and thousands want to integrate more compassion into their life, to see more unity and peace around the world.

"Every human being is a member of humanity and the human family, regardless of differences in religion, culture, colour and creed. "

"I am serving our cause with the motivation of service to humankind, not for reasons of power, not out of hatred. Not just as a Tibetan, but as a human being my mission is the propagation of true kindness, genuine kindness and compassion".

Sydney

I have never loved cities, after a few days, I would crave fresh air, mountains, trees and quiet. Somehow, Sydney captured my heart! I loved it! It was a place full of life, movement, activity. There was a jazz festival, which had about seven artist each day, playing at four outdoor venues- providing phenomenal people watching and lazy afternoons in Darling Harbor. We spent two days (the only two sunny days) on Bondi Beach, slightly south of the city. Bondi is a famous surfer beach and popular summer destination. Although the weather was turning to winter, we were still able to watch surfers dominate the sea, while the sea seemed to dominate us as we tried our own luck surfing. We’d then run back to our hostel, barefoot and freezing into a hot hostel shower that made the twenty-dollars a night truly worth it. We then traveled to the Blue Mountains, which were gorgeous and truly looked blue due to the eucalyptus tree bark. Back in the city we spent a few nights on the town, countless hours wandering the streets, stopping for live music performances, small-circus street acts, a handful of outdoor markets. We also had the chance to watch on of dozens of foreign film from the Film Festival that was taking place. We watched a movie on the Four Elements, an artistic and interesting film played inside a ornate theater that used to show black and white, non-talking pictures.

If that wasn’t enough, when we arrived we found out that the Dalai Lama was in town and giving a free speech within the Botanical Gardens. Regardless of the rain (we experienced the worst weather Sydney has had in five years) we went to the venue. And were inspired by his words of peace, compassion and hope for transformation of the future. (for more on his talk, check out upcoming blog to be posted in the next day or two). After the Dalai Lama spoke, there was a free concert consisting of five artist/bands from Sydney (Ben Lee, Lior, Jen Cloher and the Endless Sea, Mia Dyson and one other whose name I forgotten). Because of the rain, most people had cleared out, leaving a scattered few as the artist took the stage. Soaked to the bone, we decided to stay, but would have to pretend as though we were each artist biggest fan and dance wildly to get blood pumping back into our frozen bodies. So we danced, with little inhibition, wearing plastic ponchos or wrapped in blankets, twirling and bouncing to the beats. Those around us began to dance too. I will never forget twirling on muddy field, soaking wet, surrounded by passionate strangers, in the middle of Sydney, listening to inspiring music after hearing the Dalia Lama speak. Needless to say, Caitlin, Krissy and I closed the concert down and enjoyed every minute of it.

When someone says "Australia" most people picture golden sand beaches, tropical waters and kangaroos... well, that is Aus in the summer, it is winter here now and we were greated by a rainstorm! Born and raised in Oregon, i was hardly phased. We have spent some soggy days wandering the city, checking out the Jazz Festival, Film Festival and are going to hear the Dali Lama speak today. The sun even came out for a few days, got some surfing in and hiked around the Blue Mountains! It has been a BLAST so far and i expect nothing less for the next few days!

I'm off to Australia! Found cheap tickets and leaving in 10 minutes!!! I'll be sure to update my adventures when i return!

Navy Robes and Square Hats... smile.

First on my mind tonight is my brother. Lars graduates from LOHS this week and I’m so bummed I’m missing it. For those of you who don’t know Lars, he is a STUD. An adventurous, faith pursuing, athletic, hilarious, strong willed, gentle hearted man (yeah your eighteen now!). He is one of my best friends and someone who I love spending time with. I feel blessed to have him in my life and know that he constantly blesses those he encounters. I loved my senior year of high school. Lars was a freshman and we got to hang out every day, making lunches, early morning dancing in the kitchen with dad, walking to school, spring-time badminton tournaments-where I’d let him beat/dominate me and all the times in between. Since then it has been fun to have a brother that transforms from a sibling into a friend. Lars, I’m so excited for your next adventure ahead. Congratulations on graduation. Your accomplishments and impact on LOHS is something to be admired. I love you.

late nights unraveling

Lately I have been loving the dark and quiet hour from midnight till one. I have found myself spending this time in reflection. I spend all day feeling, experiencing, suppressing, expressing. It is in this hour that I begin to unravel the day. Looking into how I’m doing, I’ll begin to type, writing whatever comes to my mind, often typing faster than I realize what it is that I’m thinking. And there has been tons going on. I’ve been looking at what parts of my day bring me life and what parts of the day take it away. I feel like I have this final month in New Zealand where I will be living in a unique dynamic where challenges and new situations are constantly arising, but they are coupled with time and space for reflection. In my late night hours, I have found small conclusions and life changing ones as well.

- I learned that I need fifteen minute transitions. After a long day, I need time to decompress, sit, to listen to a song, eat a carrot, to feel like I can do whatever I want, even if it is only for a few minutes.

- I learned that I love people, I love to live within a place were there is action, life, lots of people moving, laughing, living. It doesn’t matter who they are, if I’m friends with them or not, I love to feel life around me.

- Yet within that space, I need my own space.

- I need regular challenges, physical and mental. More than an occasional jog, that mean gut-wrenching pointless three-hundred repeats at the track or hour plus long runs, fifty push-ups, hanging on the edge of a rock wall, or hours of hiking uphill at a unnecessary pace.

- I need consistent reflection, unloading of thoughts and ideas- weather to a person (preferably) or to a journal; otherwise I get overloaded and literally weighted down to the point where I begin to function through life instead of joyfully live it.

- I really appreciate and need to people pursue me personally, asking me questions about life-and challenging my responses.

- I love eating breakfast alone, love eating lunch with close friend or acquaintance) and love eating dinner with lots of people.

- Although I am messy, I function better when my stuff is organized.

- I need outlets where I can act like a giddy seven-year old. Places where I can “big –foot run” down hills with snow shoes, where I can dress in 80’s clothes and rock to the beat, go to a huge empty field and dribble a soccer ball-full speed-shoot on an invisible goalie- inevitably score and do a victory dance while others on look with suspicion. Times were I can freeze ice-cubes to the bottom of my shoes and skate down grass hills. Play spades and get unnecessarily excited about a victory and filled to the brim with bad words that I want to spew at my opposite when I am defeated. Turn up music and twirl. Run full-speed down scree fields and sand dunes. Log roll, sing “boom-chicka-boom”, eat more cookie dough than cookies. Compile the ten dorkiest hand motions and use them as frequently as possible. (stir the pot, self-high five, air punches, holding ones own hands and victoriously double shaking them on either side of their face, any movement that is accompanied by the sound “cha-ching,” and the list goes on…)

I previously wrote about living authentically and how that is both worship and a testament to God. I realize that to live authentically, I need to know who I am. The list complied above is the beginning of what it looks like for me to live as me. Evidence of my needs, my passions, my gifts and my weaknesses, can all be found woven in the list above, beginning to paint a picture of authenticity.

a room with a veiw...

Muller Hut in Mt. Cook National Park
(one day hike from valley to peak, where we stayed at Muller Hut that overlooks Mt. Cook -tallest mountain in NZ, three glaciers and dozens of snow caped peaks)

Mt. Cook, Krissy and surrounding valley
1800 ft. high...
Krissy and Caitlin in front of Muller Glacier
soaking it in...Mt. Cook, just before Sunset

View from Muller Hut window


Star-gazing

Mt. Cook at Sunrise

surrounding mountain range

God is Good