I feel like a bible-study Snob...

I went to a bible study Tuesday night and felt like I was in fifth-grade Sunday school. We were talking about prayer, working through a booklet that had chosen cartoons, captions and verses to help aid the discussion. Psalm 62:8 “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” What “key’s” to prayer can you find within this verse? The leader tried to pull answers out of us. I knew what he wanted to hear, that we should trust God at all times, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. It was so painfully simple and dumbed-down, so I sat in annoyed silence. We moved on to Philippians 4:6-7, where we learned that we should not be anxious about anything, but give God our worries. I’m not sure how took us ten minutes to discover this “prayer key,” maybe because I wasn’t helping. Snobby, I know. Trust me, I felt terrible later that night, who am I to say where or how Gods truths can be shown? Sometimes simplicity holds the most truth. Our deep conversations and thoughts may only lead us into more confusion and complication, potentially steering us farther from what God is trying to teach; yet Tuesday night I sat in silence. Maybe it is because of the way I have been experiencing God since I have been here. It has been so radically different, unable to put into a form or drawn out by a question. It has been much more abstract, yet more present than ever. I have discovered that I no longer find time to think/pray/study God, but without realizing it, I am constantly. Maybe it is because my days are less busy, mind less full and I’m living within an adventure, but God has seemed to flow into the spaces I have opened up and flooded my soul.

After experiencing God so abstractly and without form for the last two months. Friends here, and I have discussed how there has been no place we have walked into a room with Christian music playing and “entered into worship,” but instead, worship has seemed to effortlessly flow out of us as we stand humbled by nature, giving us a genuinely divine experience.

I honestly do feel terrible about my attitude Tuesday night. Each person I was with was wonderful and honestly did reveal to me Christ, just not in the ways they thought. I saw God in the way she was earnestly seeking, within the stories he told that focused and enjoyed every detail of life, among his lighthearted energy and the way they so openly brought me into their group. I just have a complex: I don’t know if I am a snob, needing to be humbled and an attitude adjustment, or if that place wasn’t really for me right now. God, what are your thoughts?